How Girls Fall In Love -R

A step guide to how girls fall in love:


1. Find a moderately attractive male.
This can be achieved through a variety of means. Possibly you could go out and meet somebody at a generic location eg a bar, a petrol station, or in the line at McDonalds. Alternatively (and often preferably) you could just go on one of those rambling facebook stalkathons which lead you to the page of your friend’s ex’s friend’s sister’s cousin’s boyfriend’s mother’s neice’s friend. Stop there.


2. Learn all that you can about the person. Again, you can take your own initiative here. Maybe you could talk to the guy? OR could ask your friend’s ex’s friend’s sister’s cousin’s boyfriend’s mother’s neice about her friend. OR you could stalk their facebook, which includes their pictures, any visible wall posts, and every page that they’ve liked for the last five years.


3. Initiate contact
The safest bet here is to actually ADD them on facebook. That’s basically meeting them. If you want to take it a step further you could stalk them until they check in somewhere and arrive at that location within five minutes and then run into them and then tell him he’s beautiful.


4. Make him tell you he loves you.
Get him drunk. Get him REALLY drunk. Now get him drunker. Now spike his drink. Now get him drunker. Now say “tell me you love me?” If he doesn’t say it then get him some more drinks. You are NOT above putting roofy’s in that shit.


5. Never let go.
Now that your male of choice has declared his emotions (bear in mind that an alcohol inhibited state does not make such a proclamation any less valid), you must never let him forget it. Getting him drunk PRACTICALLY counts as a first date, soooooo you’ve sent him a relationship request right? You ... you haven’t? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???? GET ONTO IT!


6. Never let go.
You love him, he loves you, what more is there to say?


7. Never let go.
He broke up with you? No he didn’t breaking up implies mutual agreement that is a TWO WAY street and that’s NOT how it works, he was awful anyway realistically you could have better relationships with a cat or your shoe collection, NOT that that’s relevant because YOU DID NOT AGREE TO A BREAK UP AND YOU NEVER WILL.


8. Time to get over him.
Find a moderately attractive male (see Step 1.)


-R.