When relatives get irrational -L

When my dad gets irrational.

It was a summers eve, after a glorious day of swimming in the aids infested lake of Benalla with friends, sunburn sinking in my red, raw skin.
My sister, my father and me sat down for a amazing meal of steak, chips and... salad.
I ate all my steak, chips and salad and after my delicious meal I go for more salad from the full salad bowl in the centre of the table. Smashing down the salad I end up finishing the whole entire bowl.
Everyone had left the table, when my dad comes back in, in an extreme rage looking at the empty salad bowl, his eyes glistening with horror. "you've eaten ALL THE SALAD?" he yelled. "I was hungry" I said, gleaming with fear.
"WHAT'S YOU'RE MOTHER GOING TO EAT?" he rawed. "I'll make some more" I sniffed filled up with fear from my dads rage. "ALL THE SALAD? NO!" he retaliated "You will sit here and practice this line... IM SORRY IM A PIG AND I'VE EATEN ALL THE SALAD!" I practiced this line a few times giggling when my sister walked in, but he was serious, dead serious. It must of been hard times in my house hold and lettuce an cheese must of been hard to come by as I was to practice "I'm sorry I'm a pig and I've eaten all the salad" until my mum was to arrive home, filled up with tears not only was my sunburn raw but my eyes were also for the new realization of in fact that had eaten all the salad and that I was a pig. FINALLY after repeating the line maybe 65 times, my mum walked in and my dad yelled "WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY TO YOUR MOTHER!!!" hysterically crying, I coughed out "I'm... Sorry ...I'm a... A pig and... And... I've eaten all the salad!!!" hugging her tightly in extreme apologetics, she looked at me strangely of this most bizarre sentence and simply pushed me away and said "im not hungry i got maccas on the way home" my sister BURST out laughing. I still today will never go for seconds of the salad.

It was another glorious evening, my mother was at work... My dad my sister and I sit at the table, again.
I set the table over the white table cloth and we sit down again for another horrific meal of steak chips and salad... THIS TIME there was a purple cranberry juice stain on the pure white table cloth. "what is this?" my dad pointed at the purple stain, asking my sister and I. Me and my sister both in aggreance of not knowing where the purple stain came from. He asked again "WHERE DID THIS STAIN COME FROM?" we both looked confused. "we dont KNOW!" said my sister. "what so a stain MAGICALLY APPEARED OUT OF THIN AIR DID IT?" we remained still in confusion.... "IT JUST DROPPED FROM THE SKY ALL BY ITSELF, DID IT???"
Me being the smartass I am cocked up and said "maybe klancee did it?" klancee is our dog. This filled my dad with even MORE rage if that was possible! "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" he yelled as he ran into the kitchen bringing back the purple cranberry juice "KLANCEE DID THIS DID SHE?" he yelled he popped of the lid to the cranberry juice THROWING it around the room, hitting everything insight drenching my sister and I in this purple liquid of hell. The table cloth not only now had a purple stain, but so did we, the curtains, the food on the table AND the table cloth was now no longer even white. My sister and I just sat there I could tell we were both about to cry but we held it in until he left, when he did we cried from possibly being like what the actual fuck just happened? We sat there for a few minutes maybe twenty, soaked in cranberry juice. Dad walked back in, we stared blankly at him as he said, "I may have spilt the cranberry juice".